The Regent Chippy, Regent St, Eccles, Salford

Eccles is one of those places that wouldn't usually spring to mind when someone says 'foodie'. A typical Northern town in decline with high unemployment, empty shops, Cash Converters and a cast of people that look like a mix of Jeremy Kyle meets Corrie, it isn't a place where you would normally make the effort to go on a daytrip. I mean, they don't even know what 'real' coffee is here! However, let me persuade you otherwise. If you yearn for times gone by, if you want something that little bit retro or you want a naughty, calorific treat, Eccles is THE place. You may have seen my previous post on Mario's Fish Bar, an Eccles institution. This time, I wanted to check out its closest rival, The Regent. A similar set-up to Mario's, the Regent is a sit-down chippy, a bit like what you find in seaside resorts. The Regent has a great location by the tram stop and bus station, the heady smell of salt and vinegar resulting in a steady stream of ravenous commuters. When I worked in Salford and used to get the 33 bus home, the driver would often run in the chippy and eat his chips whilst driving, sending all the passengers crazy with the smell! Talk about free advertisement for a captive audience.

The Regent's owner is Cypriot and has all sorts of Cyprus memorabilia adorning the seating area. For those who want to steer clear of chips, he even offers a Greek Salad on the menu! Both owner and staff are friendly and make the effort to get to know the customers. It seems a bit like Cheers Bar- everybody knows your name. I ordered chips with hot curry and the Carnivore went for the full monty- fish chips and mushy peas. Together with a tea and a Coke, this came to £9. The service was prompt and the portions were a damn sight more generous than Mario's. My curry sauce was more potent with a kick than Mario's efforts as well. Both the fish and chips weren't greasy, the Regent's USP being that they make everything fresh for each customer. For the health conscious amongst us, they will make your fish with less batter upon request. You can't be too health conscious in the Regent though, as they even have a dessert menu which includes old school favourites like sponge and custard and tinned fruit with ice cream. Desserts range from 75p to £2, perfect for eating out on a budget.

Royal Siam, Chorley Rd, Swinton, Salford

Salfordian foodies seem to have a rough deal. People from outside of the area don't tend to flock to this enclave of Manchester as it's not exactly known for its haute cuisine. If you're not a seasoned Salford foodie, you probably think the most exotic dish on offer is the frozen curry in Morrison's cafe. However, scratch beneath the surface of chain restaurants at the Quays, delve deeper than the chippies of Eccles and eschew the sandwich bars of Monton and pay a visit to Swinton, Salford's haven of cheap eats and exotic treats. After much Googling, I decided to try the Royal Siam who offers a Thai business lunch for £7.50 for 2 courses. How will it match up to city centre offerings like Try Thai?

Royal Siam is cosy, clean and jampacked with exciting Thai artwork on the wall, providing diners with some great talking points while chowing down. I was pleased to note they had actually bothered to play Thai music rather than atmosphere-sapping Rihanna in pan pipes. The owner greeted us warmly and explained that any starter and main could be chosen from the main menu for the business lunch. Drinks were a snip too, with all soft drinks £1 and a pot of Jasmine Tea also £1. It seemed better than Try Thai already!

To start, the Carnivore ordered Chicken Satay and I ordered veggie spring rolls. Check out the amazing presentation:

They were delicious as they looked- not too greasy and the salad beautiful and fresh.
Here is the tofu and vegetable red curry that I ordered for my main. The portion was huge, although it was a cheap business lunch. More generous than Try Thai, the rice even came in a heart-shaped serving!

The two course bountiful Thai extravaganza left me too full for dessert, so I digested the meal with a pot of Jasmine Tea. I'd also like to give the toilets a special mention at this point- they were the most immaculate I've ever seen in a Thai restaurant. They even left real cloths for the diners to wipe their hands on, a fabulous touch.
The staff were extremely welcoming and despite being the only diners in there, we never felt rushed, they simply allowed us to relax and enjoy the meal. We easily whiled away two hours here and were rather surprised to open the door and find ourselves back in Salford, the Thai experience was simply that convincing.

Frankie and Benny's, Salford Quays, Salford

I know what you're all about to say. What was Vindaloo Queen doing in a chain restaurant? The thing is, I wanted to check out the restaurants in the city of Salford which a lot of people bypass in favour of Manchester's eclectic offerings, plus the kind folk at Frankie and Benny's PR agency offered me a meal for two in return for a review. I had previously visited F&B's in my past life as an air hostess, when I would frequent their airport branches due to my generous staff discount, but what are their high street brothers like? More importantly, how does chain restaurant food measure up to the independents I have become accustomed to?

As I approached F&B's at Salford Quays, one major plus point was obvious right away- free parking and for those who don't want to drive, there is a tram stop right outside. Although the food prices might be a little high compared to my favourite independent eateries, parking is £6.30 for 2 hours outside them so at Frankie's, the free parking offsets the high food prices. Swings and roundabouts. The fabulous sound of 50s and 60s music pulsated outside of the restaurant, giving us a taste of what it was going to be like inside. Was it to be a retro diner experience?

Although F&B's is a chain, it has successfully managed to steer away from that identikit look that some chain restaurants have- the Ikea warehouse look. This place has heart and soul, helped by its cosy furnishings, booths (an essential restaurant seating arrangement in my book), upbeat friendly staff and the retro music I mentioned earlier. It hasn't gone the full hog and made it a retro diner as I initially suspected, but has gone for a classic American theme.

The menu is an interesting mix of Italian food, typical burger bar staples, steaks, a low fat selection for the calorie conscious and traditional British puddings. Even the fussiest eater would easily find something they liked on the menu and veggies like me are well catered for. There were two menus on offer, the standard one and a 2 course for £10.95 special; I opted for the standard menu and The Carnivore went for the special. Drinkswise, it was 2 pints for the Carnivore and a J20 and a coffee (obviously) for me. Sadly, the coffee wasn't as potent as I like- there was no evidence of 'crema' on top which seemed pretty paltry for £2.35. It tasted more like filter than freshly ground.

My starter was this fabulous flat mushroom, filled with Grana Padano cheese and garnished with rocket. It was delicious and if I hadn't have known better, I would have thought I was eating it in a fancy French/Italian bistro:



Meanwhile, the Carnivore chowed down on this delicious Bruschetta which tasted as good as any Italian. The topping was reminiscent of Tex Mex Pico de Gallo- absolutely moreish!



After the starters, we had a comfortable wait in anticipation of our mains- not too long and not too short. What I really liked about this restaurant was that the fact that the tables were spaced far apart enough and the music turned to such a volume that you could actually have a private conversation in here without broadcasting it to the whole place! For the main course, I opted for my old faithful Penne Arrabiata. It was pleasant enough and I ate the lot, but I felt the sauce could have been spicier to make it more authentic, plus the pasta tasted pre-cooked as if it is ready-made and just warmed up. Definitely not worth £8. A nice touch would have been a bread basket like most eateries do, but it was an extra charge here.



Meanwhile, the Carnivore tucked in to burger and chips which went down a treat, but he thought the portion of chips was a bit paltry. Burger was good quality meat though!



For dessert, we had some deliciously decadent sundaes- the dessert menu is so extensive, it was a hard choice to make. We settled on a Knickerbocker Glory and a Cookies and Cream sundae:



Cookies and Cream was an interesting mix of cookies, ice cream and raspberry sauce and rounded the meal off nicely, while the Knickerbocker Glory was the pseudo-healthy option as it contained fruit! However, neither were deserving of the £5.25 price tag. After careful consideration of the ice cream, we decided it tasted a bit Mr Whippy, rather synthetic. They tasted pleasant and hit the spot, but they didn't measure up to my local ice cream parlour.

My overall impression of F&B? It's a cheerful, inoffensive restaurant that has dishes for everyone, but its price tag doesn't reflect the quality and portion size of the food. I did notice that the prices are the same up North and down South, so maybe some regional re-pricing wouldn't go amiss, especially in an area like Salford that has high unemployment. You can't deny that the staff are well-trained compared to most eateries, and in the case of F&B's bubbly Salford staff, a smile really does go a mile.

Tony's Fish Bar (aka Mario's), 6 Southway, Eccles, Salford

I confess. I never used to be a chippy kind of girl. I always dismissed them as bland, greasy and not the most comfortable dining experience. Fancy standing up in the street eating out of paper, for goodness' sake! Not to mention the fat, grease and the fact it goes against my commitment to spicy, exotic cuisine. They say your tastebuds change as you get older, and as I'm about to enter my 4th decade, mine have decided to become a bit more welcoming to good old English grub. Maybe it's my time in Dubai that's done it to me and the five years I spent living in Berlin's Turkish community, the onset of spice fatigue. Or maybe it's seeing all these other cultures and watching how in touch they are with their own traditions, it's become high time for me to explore mine.

Eccles is a quaint, old fashioned town in Greater Manchester, often overlooked by foodies in favour of its cosmopolitan neighbour central Manchester or its new, up and coming competitor Salford Quays. However, if it's good honest grub you're after, Eccles is a safe bet. After wandering through and absorbing its old-fashioned charm, I spotted the kind of establishment that's becoming a rarity since the advent of healthy eating, kebab culture and identikit Ikea furniture. Tony's Fish Bar. Nestled under an equally retro-looking Indian (which is definitely on the to-do list too), Tony's fish bar is known locally as Mario's, which apparently was its former name and has stuck. A bit like us Liverpudlians calling Home Bargains 'Home and Bargain' as that's what it used to be called on the Mersey, dear fans of useless trivia! Furnished with cosy booth-style seating which probably hasn't changed since back in the day, I was instantly overwhelmed with a sense of nostalgia, a refuge in a world populated with Costa Coffee and its ilk.

The menu is standard chippy fare with some dishes that would be considered old fashioned, like Spanish Omelettes, and calorie-laden fry ups and pie dinners. Far from selling paninis and wraps, this place goes back to basics with filled barms- and they are much loved for it. No chorizo or halloumi cheese here. I ordered a plate of chips with curry sauce as you can see above, which came in at £1.90.

The chips were chunky, fresh and not a slither of grease upon them, the curry sauce being perfect for a discerning Vindaloo Queen. It appeared to be home made with some evidence of peppers in- kudos to Tony's! The staff were friendly and I was greeted with a warm smile despite appearing like an obvious newbie- this place definitely has its fan base of regulars, everyone seemed to know each other.

Tony's is like a time-capsule. In today's modern age of hideous commercialism and the attitudes of people only being seen where it's 'cool', this place, like much of Eccles, is a breath of fresh air. If you've got a hankering for the good old days and for a calorific belly-buster of a dinner, this is your place.

Ultimately, I could never decide between foreign and English grub though. The world's a big place full of fascinating customs and cuisines. I'm just enjoying the culinary ride- I'm having my Victoria Sponge and eating it!

The Naz, Monton Rd, Salford

I had previously slated Salford for its paltry contribution on the culinary map, but things seem to be gradually looking up. The coffee on Monton Rd's cafes is becoming increasingly potent, the takeaways are upping their game as the recession bites, and the only eyesore on the horizon is the newly opened Harvester at Salford Quays, presumably laid on for the BBC peeps who have recently migrated. I decided to revisit The Naz, a contemporary Indian on Monton Rd which is an all you can eat buffet on the top floor and a takeaway at street level.

The Naz provides coffee while waiting for your grub and you can watch the chefs prepare your creation while you wait, your tastebuds salivating as wafts of spices fill the room. The Carnivore and I ordered what is increasingly becoming our staple diet, popadoms with the trimmings, peshwari naan, 2 pilau rice, a Vegetable Madras and a Chicken Dhansak, this coming to approx £15. What I love about the Indian takeaways in Salford is that rice is always included in the price- a rarity in today's greedy society.

The popadoms were wonderfully crisp and stayed fresh all the way home and were served with the full complement of dips- tomato and onion, lime pickle, yogurt and mango chutney, giving me that proper curry house experience in my kitchen. I had to stop myself filling up on them otherwise I'd be too full for the main event, bit difficult though as the pops were a delicious meal in themselves!

Using a tomato base, the madras was a refreshing alternative to other curry houses. As you can see on the pic, the sauce was red as opposed to brown, but it still had the same level of piquancy that the Madras connoisseur appreciates. Fresh veg was used, including chunky potatoes which for me, is make or break for a decent vegetarian curry. Thankfully, not a tinned vegetable was in sight in this perfect curry. The pilau rice was of the coloured variety which won bonus points from me, and the peshwari naan was beefy and bouncy, perfect for shovelling up copious amounts of dhansak and madras. The Chicken Dhansak appeared to get thumbs up from The Carnivore too, as the whole lot was demolished, definitely a winner.

Passage to India, Monton Rd, Salford

Fur coat and no knickers- or should that be high price and no spice?

In my quest to test Salford's culinary waters, I decided to take the plunge and go for an Indian. As my beloved Shabna doesn't have a restaurant, I decided to try Passage to India which is directly opposite it on Monton Rd. I figured the food must be excellent to keep up with Shabna's competition, however the reviews on line were not very favourable. Rude staff! Bland food! Small Portions! Being the objective Vindaloo Queen I am, I decided to ignore the reviews and make my own judgement. I wish I hadn't now.

The bars of Monton were heaving in contrast to Passage, where only 3 tables were taken. As I entered, I had my first rude staff experience. 'Sit down there!' he barked at me. 'I need to prepare table'. I perched on a stool, wondering what needed to be prepared in this practically empty restaurant whose tables were all fully set. 'You come now'. I was ready to run out but in the name of blog research, I decided to stick it out. If the meal was hideous, then at least its a story to tell, right?

I scoured the menu and was shocked at the high prices- thank god I was getting a veggie dish otherwise I would have had to get a second mortgage. I still squirmed at paying £8 for a veggie curry though... 'Do you want drinks?' I was barked at yet again by the same surly staff member who seated me. 15 minutes later 'Do you want drinks?' Throughout the meal, we were asked 5 times if we wanted more drinks. Either they were on commission to flog drinks or they couldn't actually see the full glass of water before their eyes. Maybe they were just glass half empty kinda guys.

As the veggie samosas were a ripoff £4, the starter was to be pops, followed by a veggie madras, veggie biryani, pilau and naan. The pops were thankfully crisp and fresh, but the complement of dips wasn't the most adventurous. I awaited the main course hungrily. It was abyssmal. Not quite on the same abyssmal level as Edinburgh's Tippoo Sahib (the worst curry in the history of Imodium), but it seemed to have come from one of Iceland's 'reduced for clearance' freezers. The Madras sauce had the consistency of a lava lamp, the veg from one of those infamous frozen mix bags from the aforementioned supermarket- corn, peas and perfect budget cubes of illuminous carrot. Continuing the theme of frozen veg, the biryani looked achingly familiar from my student days, when I used to shop mainly at cheap shops and live off frozen meals. The rice was boiled rather than fried, and was padded out with yet more frozen veg. We weren't even asked which sauce we wanted with this monstrosity, but a witches brew of oil and gravy-like curry sauce was plonked in front of us. This meal was inedible.
Halfway through the meal, the restaurant manager approached my table (and all other 3 diners) and fired off a series of questions in the style of a quiz show host.

'Are you local?' (I thought this was a chat up line at first)
'Is it your first time or do you come here often?' (ooh the old charmer!)
'How did you find out about us?' (Well, not from Gordon Ramsay that's for sure)

After the interrogation, I was feeling more angry at this place, you know when you feel like slapping someone round the chops but don't actually do it? I had to get out for my sanity. Enter Surly Staff Member no.1, the fellow who seated me. He was back again, this time on all fours brushing the floor (note: he didn't wash his hands after). Then, he came to our table and instead of cleaning it properly, he swept the crumbs up with one hand into his other cupped hand. Wow, fabulous hygiene and service standards, I am impressed.

This bland meal had finally drawn to a close and will thankfully never be repeated. Such a shame, as Passage looks like a promising, opulently decorated eaterie from the outside, but it quite frankly a case of fur coat and no knickers. Back to the Curry Mile it is then.

Playfoots Cafe, Monton Rd, Salford

If you're looking to grab a reasonably priced lunch and coffee without the chainy boredom of St*rb*cks, Playfoots is the place. Situated on Monton Rd, this neighbourhood cafe attracts regulars thanks to the friendly staff. With veggies catered for and a healthy selection of daily papers, this is the perfect place to while away an afternoon. For the early birds, they even offer a bountiful breakfast. The coffee is only a quid which left me collapsing in shock after today's extortionate prices. However, the coffee is a tad weak but with such a friendly atmosphere, it's easy to overlook. Steaming soups, crisp salads, an extensive selection of sandwich fillings and beautiful home-made muffins make Playfoots one for Vindaloo Queen's roster of independent coffee houses.

Lime, Salford

Lime? Limescale would be more appealing!

When one thinks of Salford, one doesn't think of glam nights out and gourmet paradise, but rough council estates and chip butties. However, Salford is trying to rid itself of its chav reputation with the creation of the Quays bar and restaurant complex, resembling Liverpool's Albert Dock or Edinburgh's Leith Shore. The Quays bring to mind the memorable quote from the film 'Clueless' when they describe a girl as being a 'Monet'- like the paintings, they look great from a distance but a big ugly mess close up. Salford Quays is such a place. A concrete jungle festooned with lights, glass tower blocks and more concrete, the Quays has all the culture of Luton town centre. Step inside the Quays and one finds such culinary lowlights like Cafe Rouge, Pizza Express and Harry Ramsdens. I was fortunate enough to eat at Lime, not a big chain but a polished turd nonetheless.

On first impressions, Lime looks a bit like a cool nightclub but as you enter its hallowed portal, it looks like Yates Wine Lodge with better lighting, cleaner tables and dearer prices. The meal was part of my work's Xmas celebrations and therefore had the Xmas 'special menu' with a price tag one needed an unsecured loan for. So pull up a chair at my dining table and I'll talk you through the courses.

To start, I had French Onion soup, a generous portion with beautiful velvety onions and a cheesy crust. Something was missing though... it wasn't served with any bread or butter! Minus points already, not a good start.

Veggies, now for the disappointing part. The only option was a Vegetarian Stack which looked like something off the Findus production line made by a Salfordian forced off the dole. Runny tomato puree, layers of peppers, a thin sliver of cheese and a morsel of courgette, this kiddies' portion wouldn't even fill Posh Spice. However, some 'sides' turned up- more courgette, burnt chips, tough sprouts and a microscopic morsel of parsnip. I was starving and felt as if I had turned up at a weight watchers convention.

Thank god for dessert. I ordered a wonderfully stodgy Xmas pud, the highlight of the meal. You can't go wrong with shop-bought from the cash and carry, can you?

So veggies, if you need any further persuasion, do not go to Lime. Better still, avoid Salford like the plague. The only decent grub I have ever ate here was in a packet, on a shelf and at Sainsbury's. Now, Mr Taxi Driver, Wilmslow Road tout suite

Tung Fong, Salford

Appearances can be de deceptive!

Getting away from the hustle and bustle of Chinatown, I decided to explore Manchester's other Chinese offerings. After staying at the fab Novotel on the outskirts of the city (it has an outdoor pool that I could actually swim in without freezing to death), I was feeling too lethargic (read lazy) to make the trek to Chinatown and explored the leafy suburb of Worsley instead. This is a very picturesque area, home to footballers, rich pensioners and those who opt out of the hustle and bustle of the city. I strolled down a woody lane and into a fairytale village comprising of Tudor-style houses, quaint cottages and a duckpond. What an interesting place, I thought, expecting to find 'old man's pubs' and 'old lady's tearooms'. Instead, there was a trendy tapas and wine bar and the cosiest Chinese I have ever seen!

Tung Fong is chocolate-box pretty, a tudor cottage which looks like a place of historic significance. It looks nothing like a Chinese restaurant- no gaudy dragons, cheap red paint or tacky lanterns; this place simply blends into the village. Stumbling over the original cobbles, I dashed over to the menu excitedly and my checklist of prerequisites were checked! Hot and sour check. Szechuan veg check. Decent coffee check. Good dessert menu check.

Although it looks like a Tudor relic outside, the entrance to the restaurant looks like a 1980s semi complete with migraine carpet. On first impressions, the staff appear surly but during the meal, the service is top notch, they just do away with fake niceties like calling everyone 'love' and saying 'enjoy'. The restaurant itself is quite intimate; dim lights, cosy corners and the room is expertly divided by way of fish tanks and Oriental room dividers.

To start (I have been several times) I have tried both the Veggie Hot and Sour and the Veggie Noodle Soup. The Veggie Noodle Soup is like a meal in itself, chock full of noodles and fresh veg, it is a challenge to eat. The H and S is decent but is not one of my favourites. It is mighty hot and sour, but there are too many Birds Eye peas in it, making it a bit amateurish.

The Szechuan Veg is superb- quality veg and a vindalootastic spicy sauce provides the winning formula. Fresh veg and a fabulous sauce, what more could a vindaloo queen want?

I always ensure I leave room for dessert when I visit here, as their Mango Surprise is so delectable. A work of art, it comprises a mango sorbet garnished with refereshing frozen fruit. Heaven. Dessert is a two- course job here as the staff bring you a thoughtfully-assembled fruit platter. I don't just mean the ubiquitous Chinese orange slices either. The restaurant might be a favourite of Old Trafford's stars, but this doesn't mean the fruit resembles half-time oranges! Instead, diners are treated to melon, grapes and juicy strawberries.

It is always sad to leave Tung Fong at the end of the evening. It is a place that grows on you; the type of place that if walls could talk, it would definitely have a few tales to tell. A far cry from the neon lit Chinatown.